THE NEW YORK TIMES DIVORCE ANNOUNCEMENT
Elisa Albert
“… My New York Times wedding announcement read, as many do, like a smug
sigh of relief: Nice privileged over-educated girl marries nice privileged
over-educated boy. Accelerated offspring, sound real-estate investment,
timely death, and flourishing of Judaica on the planet forthcoming.
Continuity of the Jewish people thusly assured and hopes and dreams
of respective families fulfilled, all with a lively hora, some lovely
orchids, and top-of-the-line kitchenware to seal the deal.
But less than a year after our triumphant announcement (oh, and
the getting married itself), my husband and I separated, and
all that
pride, joy and hope inscribed in the paper of record quickly
gave way to a tailspin of failure, reproach, and profound guilt.
It
wasn’t
only my life and heart I’d destroyed: I felt I had dashed
the hopes of loved ones, wasted an obscene amount of money, and
failed
to fulfill the needs of my people by reproducing. I found myself
fairly buried under the rubble.
Disaster begets questions. For starters, how do you pick yourself
up and dust yourself off when you’ve colossally messed up in
front of everyone you know? What the hell happened, for another?
Whose “fault” was it? Did I try hard enough? What does
true love look like, if not what I thought I had? Who keeps the gifts?
How do I go about the rest of my life trying to forget that box of
fabulous wedding-photo proofs buried at the back of my closet? How
did something that looked so “right” turn out to be so
devastatingly wrong? The answers I felt compelled to give – to
great-aunts, my mother’s friends, my friends’ mothers,
various dissociated yentas, the lucky red-state bride who won my
absurdly out-of-character Vera Wang on e-bay – ranged
from the practical to the existential. What, in the name of
Colin Cowie,
had I been thinking?
I wished I could fend off those inevitable, proliferate questions
with my imaginary Times divorce announcement. I
had fleetingly grasped the supposed brass ring of my adulthood:
a perfect
Jewish husband.
How could it be over? Unfortunately, the Times lacks
such a section. And anyway, I have precious few easy answers.”
Elisa
Albert received an MFA from Columbia University. Her
fiction and nonfiction
have appeared in Washington Square, Response, Pindeldyboz,
and Body Outlaws: RE-writing the Rules of Body Images
and Identity (Seal Press,
2004). She teaches creative writing in New York City,
and is at
work on a collection of stories and a novel.