HOLY GUILT TRIP
Rabbi Sharon Brous

“As a rabbi, I am a living, breathing trigger for other people’s guilt.

Over the past 12 years, nearly every casual social encounter I have had has been punctuated by some variation on the classic: “Oh my God, you’re a rabbi? I’m such a bad Jew. I haven’t been to services since my Bat Mitzvah.” People often feel compelled to expose either their greatest vulnerabilities—“I’ve just never been attracted to Jewish women. Am I a traitor?”—or their family’s—“My brother intermarried. Is that really bad?”—before I can even get their names.

Apparently, something about me elicits reflexive, often involuntary confessions. It’s as if my very presence reminds people of all of the ways that they fall short—they’re not good enough, not religious enough, not doing enough to fight poverty. Each time it happens, I am shocked and flattered that people trust me enough to offer up their deepest insecurities as small talk. Sometimes though, penitents get so caught up in their confessions that they don’t notice that I’m holding an hors d’oeuvre plate in one hand and a crying baby in the other, and am just trying to make my way over to an empty seat in the corner. I’m starting to understand why so many rabbis appear to the untrained eye to be socially challenged – avoiding eye contact, abruptly cutting conversations short, and slipping out the back door whenever possible. It’s about survival…”

Sharon Brous is the founder and spiritual leader of IKAR, a vibrant, exciting new Jewish spiritual community in Los Angeles that is both traditional and progressive – dedicated to serious study, soulful encounter, and passionate engagement with the world. While studying for the rabbinate, Rabbi Brous studied Conflict Resolution and Internationl Human Rights at Columbia Univeristy, and has written numerous articles on the issues of religion, human rights, and human dignity. In 2004, the Forward named Rabbi Brous as one of the 50 most influential Jews in the United States, and assertion that truly made her parents kvell.