SHTREIMEL ENVY
Pearl Gluck

“I have shtreimel envy. Those voluptuous fur hats that Hasidic men earn just for getting married have held a certain fascination for me my whole life. Just by perching those thirteen tails that make up a perfect circle of fur atop their heads, Hasidic men become part of a two-hundred-year-old-tradition and gain an intimate connection with the world of our grandparents.

How could I not envy them their shtreimels? As a woman in the Hasidic world, there’s no equivalent for me, and now that I’ve left the fold, I’ve forsaken my only chance to even get near one legitimately by marrying a Hasidic man. So instead, I covet. I’ve replaced traditional Jewish guilt with green envy.

In the meantime, I appease my longing for the world I’ve left behind by wearing the rest of the Hasidic male outfit (three-quarter-length black jackets, the black pants, the loafers). I guess my clothing could easily be seen as an abomination analogous to the way I treat my Hasidic heritage, but I don’t see it that way. Why can’t I turn the patriarchal clothing and role of the rebbe into my own adapted form of matriarchy? In some ways, what I wear symbolizes my struggle. I live between two worlds, and constantly try to find the place I can be true to myself and true to my heritage. I am as much an artist and filmmaker who is inspired by feminism and modernity as I am the daughter of a Hasidic Jew who is utterly bewildered by the life his only daughter leads…”

Pearl Gluck was raised in the Hasidic community of Borough Park, Brooklyn. A documentary filmaker, her movie Divan is a Hasidic tale five years in the making and is her debut feature documentary, developed with the assistance of the Sundance Institute. Gluck received a Yiddish Fulbright to Hungary and her work was created with the support of foundations such as New York State Council on the Arts, Eva Eastman Fund, and the National Foundation for Jewish Culture. Gluck has spearheaded community arts programs, curated literary and film events from Hungary to Israel to New York City, and was an artist in residence at the Paideia Institute in Stockholm. As part of her ongoing commitment to educational outreach, she has appeared on numerous college and university campuses, and acted as writer/mentor at the MacArthur-granted program, The Harlem Writers Crew. Her first involvement with documentary film was in A Life Apart: Hasidism in America (1998; Oren Rudavsky and Menachem Daum). Her appearance in the film has encouraged grass-roots organization for an ex-Orthodox creative alliance.