THE MONICA METAPHOR
Lauren Grodstein

“In France, they called me Monica–and boy, was that the joke that wouldn’t quit. They chuckled “Monica” when I walked down the street, winked “Monica” when I picked up a baguette, sniggered “Monica” when I bought a bottle of wine at the corner store. This was back in 1998, the post-college year I spent loafing in Paris, and here’s the weird part: at first I didn’t even know what they were talking about. My name was, and is, Lauren.

“ Non, non, Mon-ee-ka!” exclaimed my pal Eric, making a vulgar gesture with his finger and his cheek. Eric was a balding Parisian who waited tables at the restaurant next door to my apartment, and he was one of my only real French friends. We smoked cigarettes together in the alley between my residence and his workplace, and if I came in to the restaurant during the late afternoon, he’d give me free bowlfuls of runny rice pudding, my favorite. His English was worse than my French, but he liked to practice.

“Mon-ee-ka Levinsky!” Eric said, then looked at me questioningly. “I am saying it right? Tu comprends?”…”

Lauren Grodstein is the author of the short story collection The Best of Animals (Persea, 2002) and the novel Reproduction Is The Flaw Of Love (Dial, 2004.) Her essays, stories, and reviews have appeared in various publications, including Virgin Fiction 2, Before and After: Stories from New York, and The Ontario Review. A graduate of Columbia’s MFA program, Lauren teaches creative writing at Cooper Union. She lives in Brooklyn.