BIG MOUTH: JEWISH WOMEN AND APPETITE
Wendy Shanker

“Why are all Jewish women so fat?”

That was the question the Japanese Reiki practitioner asked me after rolling me around on a hotel bed. “Rolling me around on a hotel bed” ain’t a euphemism, either. In my latest foray into alternative health therapies, I’d let this guy spend an hour tossing me back and forth on a mattress in a hotel room. He’d promised to get my “chi,” or life energy, moving more effectively through my system.

So I would’ve expected, “How’s your ‘chi’ flowing now?” or “Can you write me a check?,” but certainly not, “Why are all Jewish women so fat?” First of all, there was his implication that I myself was “so fat.” Now, I’m perfectly content to describe myself as “fat, but “so fat” begins to push it. Not all Jewish women are “so fat” either. I can think of like…at least three that aren’t. And how did he know I was Jewish anyway? It’s not like I have a Jewish name, or stereotypically Jewish features. I wasn’t busy moneylending or controlling the media during our reiki session. I suppose he caught a whiff of my signature scent, “Eau de Noodle Kugel.” Or else he should be congratulated on his finely-tuned Jew-dar…”

Wendy Shanker is the author of The Fat Girlís Guide to Life. She grew up in Detroit, Michigan, wore velvet knickers to her Bat Mitzvah, was big into Bínai Bírith Girls in high school, and currently lives in NYC. Wendy is one of Us Weeklyís Fashion Police and has appeared on The View, CNN, VH1, and The Ricki Lake Show, and hosted a style and shopping show on the Oxygen network. She has also written for Glamour, Shape, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Seventeen, and MTV. Find out more about Wendy at wendyshanker.com.